So now, this has become the private blog while my wordpress becomes the de-facto portofolio to potential employers... Hurrah!
I think today is the best time to write because all external factors point otherwise- my body aches a shit ton from a crazy HIIT workout at the gym yesterday (we bent our legs, and then held out 3 lb weights rotating them one way, then the opposite direction, then up and down. For some reason, it really really hurt!!). In addition, my one-year-old son (today's his birthday!) doesn't really want to nap, and I have this nagging coding project that was due last week that I'm struggling SO HARD to complete! I just don't feel particularly relaxed right now.
Secondly, I have to make a conscious effort not to feel like complete unemployed shit. I'm actively applying to more and more writing-focused jobs, but nothing has panned out yet. I have two freelance gigs that I'm doing on the side, but two weeks ago a really major company wanted to talk to me, and I felt like the interview went well. Then I sent my samples, and-- radio silence. It really did a number to my self-esteem. I'm trying to be as positive as possible and continue applying and working (see I'm writing now, that's good! I'm not succumbing to the funk!), but it's a little hard. I really, really want a good-paying, cushy, fun job NOW. I want to work at one of those elite companies so I can feel really secure and smart. I KNOW I'm smart, but I'm constantly humbled because I feel like I'm never quite smart or accomplished enough. After grad school, I signed onto the first place that made me an offer and I really hated working there. Hated everything- the work, my managers, the commute. I left it even though the pay was good! I wanted something more, something I felt happy about. I'm chasing career happiness and I wonder if it's a listless chase. Like, when am I gonna get my break? Will it ever happen? Logic is telling me to push through, don't give up... so many people tell me I'm a talented writer, but the struggle is so freaking real. And it's not funny.
I think today is the best time to write because all external factors point otherwise- my body aches a shit ton from a crazy HIIT workout at the gym yesterday (we bent our legs, and then held out 3 lb weights rotating them one way, then the opposite direction, then up and down. For some reason, it really really hurt!!). In addition, my one-year-old son (today's his birthday!) doesn't really want to nap, and I have this nagging coding project that was due last week that I'm struggling SO HARD to complete! I just don't feel particularly relaxed right now.
Secondly, I have to make a conscious effort not to feel like complete unemployed shit. I'm actively applying to more and more writing-focused jobs, but nothing has panned out yet. I have two freelance gigs that I'm doing on the side, but two weeks ago a really major company wanted to talk to me, and I felt like the interview went well. Then I sent my samples, and-- radio silence. It really did a number to my self-esteem. I'm trying to be as positive as possible and continue applying and working (see I'm writing now, that's good! I'm not succumbing to the funk!), but it's a little hard. I really, really want a good-paying, cushy, fun job NOW. I want to work at one of those elite companies so I can feel really secure and smart. I KNOW I'm smart, but I'm constantly humbled because I feel like I'm never quite smart or accomplished enough. After grad school, I signed onto the first place that made me an offer and I really hated working there. Hated everything- the work, my managers, the commute. I left it even though the pay was good! I wanted something more, something I felt happy about. I'm chasing career happiness and I wonder if it's a listless chase. Like, when am I gonna get my break? Will it ever happen? Logic is telling me to push through, don't give up... so many people tell me I'm a talented writer, but the struggle is so freaking real. And it's not funny.
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